Review of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

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After the birth of Renesmee, the Cullens gather other vampire clans in order to protect the child from a false allegation that puts the family in front of the Volturi.
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Movie Review: Breaking Dawn Part 2. There was some hope for “Breaking Dawn Part 2”. The end of Part 1 had Bella (Kristen Stewart) getting knocked up with a possible demon baby while becoming something of a demon herself when Edward (Robert Pattinson) turns her into a vamp. I expected Stephanie Meyers so far overblown book series to finally find some urgency but this may be the worst one yet, because we now know that it was all leading to bupkis, establishing nothing more than what we already knew from the first time these two bores laid eyes on each other in “Twilight”.

Bella now has heightened senses, better jumping ability, and is working on controlling her hunger for humans. Her and Edward have a daughter named Renesmee (Mackenzie Foy) and for some reason Jacob (Taylor Lautner) still hasn’t gotten the hint that he’s lost Bella’s hand for good and should go away now. The storyline here is that Renesmee is mistaken for an immortal, essentially a lethal child, something that gothic vampire dweebs, The Volturi, have sworn death on. Eager to protect her, Bella, Edward, and Jacob ready their troops of about 20-30 vampires, werewolves, and other things for a last battle.

This is a largely uneventful, almost two hour long movie that doesn’t seem to get going until the ending and even then it makes a show of prolonging the inevitable. That the battle sequence features so many severed and ripped off heads (bloodlessly of course) is actually quite something but it concludes in a way that’s so disappointing that I actually found a deeper level of loathing for these movies within myself.

And there is so much to hate. Pattinson, Stewart, and Lautner give dull, self-serious performances that only add to the ludicrous nature of the whole thing. The terrible CGI on the werewolves, the road runner type way the vampires run around with obvious green screen for a backdrop, the way director Bill Condon has to strain to get any kind of eroticism out of the PG-13 rating, terrible dialogue; you know, the usual problems. Michael Sheen is about the only saving grace here as the head of the Volturi. Otherwise “Breaking Dawn Part 2” has the distinct feeling that it’s giving the audience the runaround. Thank god it’s over and we can move past it.