Safehouse DVD Review

Safehouse, released on DVD on August 11th by MTI Movie Video and directed by John Poague, has the look and sound of a large Hollywood production, but it isn’t! On an island, Cooper ( Johnny Alonso) is helping Emily (Carolina Hoyos) work a charter fishing and tourist boat service (since he promised her father – with whom he worked in the FBI – that he’d take care of her). Cooper hasn’t had any assignments with the FBI for a year, when the only person in the organization he trusted was her father. Suddenly a man turns up dead in a boat, and the intrigue begins.

Safehouse is littered with bodies and jokes, and of course there would never be so many deaths in real life, nor would they seem funny. Cooper seems both inexhaustible and flippant about most of what happens, including his friend Teaberry’s (Clayton Meyers’) depiction of a computer techie/hacker who can break encrypted codes (upon which the plot hinges). An older gentleman, Antonio Moffa (Robert Miano) sets up his guards to around his mansion to kill people and, in any way possible, find out information about a mysterious thumb drive (which we find out later has the ability to break a special code where Moffa has been stealing Federal Reserve military payments). Meanwhile, both sides (the FBI and Moffa) are trying to beat the encryption deadline so that Moffa can’t get the money.

Emily keeps saying that her boat business is losing money and that she and Cooper must stay and charter. Cooper keeps saying that they must leave, but won’t tell her why. Meanwhile Samantha(called Sam during most of Safehouse and played by Sheila Cutchlow), a past FBI co-worker and amour of Cooper’s, and her FBI group arrive to try to stop Antonio Moffa from stealing – they actually call it a form of bank robbery – the 2.6 billion. And Cooper’s friend Teaberry (who wears sunglasses and a bizarre brown plaid wood winter cap with flaps, despite the heat) keeps complaining that Cooper refuses to carry a cell phone and he can never reach him!

The plot of Safehouse is just too pat, which affects the acting. FBI Agent Sam never does anything wrong (except having her knee and thigh grazed by a bullet), and neither do any of the good guys, and we even see guards wrestling with each other instead of using their guns! (Why, so they can chance being killed?) Sam wonders why Moffa (who spends his spare time whittling and doesn’t mind shooting one of his own guards to show a techie who’s never shot a gun how it’s done) doesn’t just rob banks in the real world, and one scene has the kidnapped Emily, with both hands and feet bound to a chair, being thrown into a swimming pool several times when she would certainly never survive even one dunking. But she’s one of the good guys, so she doesn’t die, and doesn’t even mind being “put out” by it all when later encouraging Sam to pursue Cooper as a romantic partner in the future.

In life there are charming characters whom everyone seems to like, but since Cooper has serious business on his hands (possible multiple deaths and vast sums of money) he can’t spend so much of his time being funny! A small visual subplot of Safehouse is a variety of funny sayings on T-shirts that random players wear (Cooper’s says “Barfly” and Emily’s, inexplicably, says “Mozambique”, and there are many others).

With not enough edge or panache to be a cult classic, Safehouse fails to keep our attention (why are we watching if we can anticipate much of what will happen?). Emily pouting about her charter boats becomes absurd in the light of people getting shot all around her (would she want her customers to be shot, not to mention herself?). Cooper is fine no matter WHAT happens, even when he’s shot in the shoulder or knocked unconscious (he bounces back miraculously!). All is always well, and no one can suspend their disbelief THAT far. If you like action movies for their own sake you might be attracted to the continuous action in Safehouse (people trying to elude and kill others) or you might like some of the ridiculous light humor. Interestingly enough, the best acting jobs are by Samantha (the FBI agent) and Moffa (the older new age bank robber whose cruetly does seem both real and urgent). But if you’re looking for something other than a weak plot and truly hit-and-miss skullduggery (although it is shot well), you won’t find Safehouse very mesmerizing.

Director: John Poague

DVD Review by Christina Zawadiwsky of Movie Room Reviews

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